14 Things NOT to Say to Your Pastor

14 Things NOT to Say to Your Pastor

The following article was received through an email list I am on. It was written by Thom S. Rainer who is the president and CEO of LifeWay Christian Resources (LifeWay.com)

I have added my (sarcastic) responses (or how I wish I could respond) in italics.

Remember people, this is meant to be lighthearted!

I bet almost every pastor has heard all of these in the course of a ministry.  Enjoy. But do not repeat (at least to your pastor).

1. I wish I had a job like yours, where I would work only one day a week.  I wish I had a job like that too!

2. What do you do with all the free time you have?  Listen to inane comments about how little I work and how much free time I have.

3. Can I have a couple of minutes before you preach? Sure, if you will give me a couple of minutes WHILE I’m preaching!

4. I love you pastor, but _______________________________ (fill in the blank).  I love you, but… too!

5. I like your preaching, pastor, but I really like _______________ (fill in the blank with television or podcast preacher).  I’m sure you could get ______________ to come visit you in the hospital or counsel you when you need it.  After all, we only work one day a week and have so much spare time!

6. Can your wife play piano? My wife can’t even play the radio! Can you learn how to play piano on Pinterest?

7. Your kids shouldn’t behave that way. After all, they are pastor’s kids.  They were simply trying to follow the examples of your kids.

8. Your low salary is good for you. It keeps you humble and dependent on the Lord.  You are so right and my deep, deep, deep humility keeps me from telling you what a great impact the low salary has had on my character development.

9. I bet you don’t spend any time preparing your sermons.  Of course not – that would cut into my free time.  Besides, I am getting so much material just from talking to you!

10. Pastor __________ (predecessor pastor) didn’t do it that way.  And how did that work out for him?

11. You don’t have a real degree. You went to seminary.  Actually, I didnt even go to seminary, I wrote into an ad I saw in the back of a Christian magazine!

12. How much longer do you think you’ll be at our church?  If there are many more like you, about 30 seconds.

13. Did I wake you up pastor? It’s only 1:00 am.  No, I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

14. Did you hear what they are saying about you?  I’m sure I am about to!

Do you have any statements or questions to add to this list?